Five Funny Things for a Monday!

I hope everyone had a great weekend! Lets get to it! Five Funny Things

1. They finally threw a cap on that oil spill in the gulf, that’s great news but, was that really it? A cap? Yea, I know there was a lot more involved and that it took the world’s greatest minds to solve the world’s, worst environmental disaster but let’s do some good PR and make the solution seem a little more complicated than something you would use on a shook up, two liter, of Publix Orange Soda. Do you think, after the cap worked that all of the guys in the control room started, shouting triumphantly and high fiving like they do in the movies? You know, like the end of Independence Day or Armageddon. We should get Morgan Freeman to stand in for the President, when we’ve got this under control and it’s time to address the nation.

Seriously? That was it?

2. Staying with the oil crisis, Governor Charlie Crist is calling a special session to enforce something that is already law. He wants a constitutional ban on, offshore billing. The strongest advocates for offshore billing, have already said that its off of the table and this could have been done next session and saved us all a bunch of money. Governor Crist is ofcourse trying to get elected to the Senate and is grandstanding to all of us, how much of a hero he is! If he could he would get a photo op, of himself pulling a dolphin out of the gulf and wiping it off with a blanket. His old republican buddies hate this because, hey they gotta get re-elected too. So Charlie can promote himself, and at the same time stick it to his old buddies from the GOP.

Ain't no party, like a Charlie Crist party, cause a Charlie Crist party is mandatory! (Tina Fey, wrote that one, not me!)

3. I was at lunch with my 14 year old sister on Saturday, when the waitress comes over and compliments her on her complexion. “What a nice tan you have” she says “Do you work on it? or do you just soak it up like your dad?”…silence..I actually lost a piece of ice, I was chewing on..I was sad..that was the hardest 20%, I ever tipped.

4. These candidates running for office have been answering the same questions for a while, some for over a year. I think some of them might be going on autopilot and spacing out, while they’re talking to voters. The next time you talk to a candidate, stick a different question in there, just to be sure they stay awake. My question? “Who do you think was the best, movie Batman?” The answer ofcourse is Michael Keaton.

Keaton is the best, movie Batman

5. The fact that over five million people have watched this youtube video!

I’m thankful for the new readers and for my growing numbers! Have a great Monday guys!