My Bold Superbowl Predictions

You didn’t think I would miss blogging about the Superbowl did you?

I’ve always thought that the Monday following the Superbowl should be a national holiday. Instead thousands will be using that Superbowl Flu Strain excuse that next morning when they call in sick to work.

The Superbowl has been something that’s fascinated me for as long as I could remember. From my earliest memories of my beloved Chicago Bears winning back in 85′ to Montana and Young from those great San Francisco 49ers teams. The Buffalo Bills who stunk up the early 90′s by making 3 trips and coming back empty handed each time. Aikman, Smith and Irving dominating teams with Jimmy Johnson coaching. Brett Favre (before his indecisiveness and texting habits), Elway getting his rings and the Titans coming up a yard short. The Patriots doing the impossible before it became the predictable to the Manning Brothers and Big Ben. Last year we had New Orleans giving the people some thing to cheer for since Hurricane Katrina leveled the city 5 years ago.

Remember those 49er teams from the eighties?

To the people that just don’t get the game of football there are the commercials.

I can remember Charles Barkley vs. Godzilla, the first Bud Bowl and Cindy Crawford pushing Pepsi wayyyyy before anyone heard of Britney Spears. Office linebackers, German cars falling from trees and Doritos Samurai have been recent favorites. The commercials have become almost as big as the game and this year we’re going to need them more than ever.

Before she was advertising Florida furniture, Crawford was a Superbowl staple.

It’s been 4 years since we’ve had a boring game, we might be due for one. Even if it’s not a blowout you still have two teams, the Pittsburgh Steelers (2 rings in 5 years and the most in NFL history) and the Green Bay Packers (Won in 96, small market with plenty of history and championships) that have been there and done that.

Here are a few of my predictions:

Pre-game:

- O’Reily will go easy on the President during their interview. The headline of the pre-game show by the way. If those two actually start mixing it up, then it might be just as exiting as the game.

It will probably be pretty tame but it's still worth watching

Christina Aguilera’s National Anthem running time?: 2:35

Coin toss result?: Packers and they will defer to the 2nd half

Chances Troy Aikman will start to irritate you before kickoff? 50%

During the game:

The first commercial will be a beer commercial

Betty White Commercial Appearances? 1

First Score of the game? Rodgers to Jennings for a TD

Times you’ll hear Jay Cutler get dissed by Aikman:2

First turnover of the game and Steelers score? A Troy Polamalu pick six.

and you'll probably see him in a Head and Shoulders commercial too

The Steelers will kick add a field goal and the halftime score will be 10-7 Pittsburgh at the half.

Halftime:

Fergie will have the TV execs holding their breath trying not to re-live the Janet Jackson fiasco from a couple of years back.

She makes the Halftime producers very nervous..

Myself, not being a Black Eyed Peas fan, will probably be in the kitchen for most of the time.

2nd half:

The Packers will open the half with a drive resulting in a field goal.

Most of the male viewers will probably start finding ways to get out of watching Glee after this is over.

Here come the boring commercials, you know? The serious ones that aren’t as effective as the funny ones and will be forgotten by the next morning.

The 3rd quarter will probably be pretty uneventful.

The 4th quarter will start out with a Rothelisberger TD pass to Heinz Ward.

Aaron Rodgers will answer with a long drive eating up most of the clock and punch in a TD run with John Kuhn.

By this time you will have heard that Steelers Coach Mike Tomlin looks a lot like Omar Epps (Dr. Foreman) from House.

Pretty strange, right?

The Steelers will answer with a quick Field Goal.

Aaron Rodgers will valiantly try to lead the Packers on a winning drive but come up just short when a Mason Crosby field goal goes wide-right with 1:15 left on the clock. The Steelers will come out and kneel down and be our Superbowl Champions.

Final Score: Steelers 20 Packers 17

Post-game:

Polamalu will be the MVP

Big Ben Rotheslisberger will be drinking till 6 in the morning….on Tuesday.

Brett Favre will be in Mississipi telling his wife “You see baby? They can’t do it without me!”

Following the game Glee will probably lose about 60% of it’s lead in. It will gain some male viewers but they’re not going to tell their friends that finished Superbowl Sunday watching a musical so, the boost will be short lived.

Who's decision was it to follow the most macho broadcast of the year with Glee?!

I will probably follow up on this post Monday. Enjoy the game.